Do You Know THIS About Stress?

Stress is a word that gets used frequently, yet what do we actually mean when speaking about stress?

For some people, they say they are stressed when they are…

• Overwhelmed – the demands they are currently experiencing are more than they have the capacity to handle.
• Feeling tension – feeling pulled in conflicting directions.
• Burned out – empty, drained, or exhausted.
• Anxious – feeling unsure or worried about something in the future.
• Helpless – feeling out of control, outside of their comfort zone, or unsure about how to proceed.
• Pressed – the intense feeling that wells up when you are sitting in traffic and need to be somewhere ten minutes ago or the weight of a looming deadline.
• Scattered – simultaneously going in too many directions.
• Stretched – being challenged in either big ways or multiple ways at one time.
• Overloaded – the feeling that arises after taking on too much or being over-committed.
• Wound up – uptight, on edge, or uneasy about something.
• Unsure – facing a difficult decision, the unknown, or uncertainty.

No doubt, a couple of additional words have come to mind that more accurately convey the feelings that so often get lumped into the stress bucket.

A Challenge

I’ve I had a habit of using the word “things” more than I wanted to. Like the word stress, referring to “things” is generally a vague reference. I’ve challenged myself to refrain from using the word things unless it truly is the best word, and in its place using a word that more accurately expresses what I’m trying to communicate.

Words matter. What if you challenged yourself to choose a word that more precisely describes what you are feeling when you are tempted to say you are stressed? That goes for your self-talk and what you share with others. Are you up for the challenge?

Stress Is Not Bad

A little stress is a good. Visualize it this way: imagine the chain on your bike. If the tension is just right, you are able to ride with great ease.

Too much tension or stress on the chain and, not only is it difficult to pedal, the extra friction may result in the chain breaking or damaging to the bearings.

Too little tension or stress and you have less power, a reduced ability to shift gears, o, even worse, the chain falls off altogether!

Your Happy Stress Level

The ideal level of stress varies from person to person, which is why it’s important to know your-self and to refrain from comparing yourself to others.

It’s also important to recognize that if you grew up in a stressful home or have experienced ongoing stress for extended periods of time, you may be unaware of how much stress you are actually under right now. In other words, you may be downplaying the stress in your life!

If a great deal of stress feels normal to you, slowing down and having more margin in your life might actually feel more stressful than your current hustle…at least initially. But, eventually operating under a hefty stress load catches up with you!

Stress Does What???

What are some of the negative ramifications to chronic stress? They include illness, insomnia, weight gain, and depression. It also diminishes your work performance, crowds out your creativity, and causes issues in your relationships. All motivating reasons to keep your stress in check!

Four Types of Stressors

According to Dr. Karl Albrecht, author of the bestselling book Stress and the Manager: How To Make It Work For You, there are four common types of stressors:

1. Time Stress

Fretting over deadlines, rushing to avoid being late, or worrying about time – having too much time or too little time, all fall into the time stress category.

Also included in this category are tasks to be completed, potential failures, and feeling trapped or hopeless.

Beefing up your time management skills, learning to prioritize – really prioritize, and implementing boundaries all go a long way towards alleviating time stress!

2. Anticipatory Stress

This is the kind of stress you experience as you anticipate an upcoming presentation, dentist appointment, or an important exam. Anytime you dwell on the events in the future, especially in a negative way, it results in unnecessary pressure and anxiety.

Learning to be present and addressing your deeper fears, like the fear of failure or dwelling on the catastrophic “what ifs” is the helpful. Situations that evoke anticipatory stress provide the perfect opportunity to practice taking your thoughts captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

3. Situational Stress

This is the type of stress that shows up when you are in a frightening situation or have zero control like in the midst of an emergency.

Conflict evokes this kind of stress for many and so do moments like getting fired or making a silly mistake in front of the people you lead. It’s sudden and unexpected.

Tools that help to minimize this type of stress are being more self –aware and connected to your feelings, learning how to handle conflict constructively, preparing well, and having grace for yourself. Expecting to be perfect – that’s a big stressor!

4. Encounter Stress

This could also be called “People Stress” because it’s the strain that’s created when you worry about interacting with certain people, groups of people, or when you must interact with people on an ongoing basis.

Examples of individuals who might experience this kind of stress are counselors, doctors, or teachers. Introverts might also experience “people overload” and experience feeling drained or overwhelmed following extended times with people.

To reduce encounter stress, focus on improving your people skills and growing your emotional intelligence.

When you are able to recognize the stress category or give stress a more accurate name remedying the situation is easier.

The Next Step…

Identifying the kind of stress you are experiencing is step one. The next step is to recognize how you typically react to stress.  Do you…

1. Avoid?

If you fall into the avoid category, you might respond to stress by escaping, shutting down, or procrastinating. Regrettably, this only increases and/or prolongs stress.

2. Complain?

Essentially this is externalizing your stress – serving up big helpings of it to those around you, and making the stress contagious!

You might think you are getting rid of your negative emotions and stress by complaining, but in reality it reinforces your negative thoughts while advertising your fears.

3. Ruminate?

Replaying events over and over again in your mind compounds the feeling! Whatever got you going…it isn’t going to get smaller by dwelling on it. Dwelling on something is meditating…and not in a healthy way!

4. Internalize?

Instead of venting or complaining, you doubt or blame yourself for the stress you are experiencing. Just like complaining, it keeps you from taking responsibility in a productive and/or proactive way.

If you are prone to handling stress in one or more of the above ways, odds are that you are stuck which creates more stress!

The Solution…

Finally, here are 4 ways to deal with stress:

1. Do What You Can Do

Stop dwelling on all the things that are out of your control. Make your focus what you can do something about. Limiting your responsibilities – saying no more often, maintaining margin in your schedule, exercising, engaging in activities that bring you joy – those are all amazing ways to combat stress.

What habits or skills would benefit you?

2. Examine Your Thoughts

Your thoughts and beliefs play a significant role in how stressed you feel. Unrealistic expectations, assumptions, and the flat out lies you tell yourself translate into unnecessary burdens!

Give yourself permission to slow down and reflect on your self-talk. Challenge your thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions. Nine times out of ten, your thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions aren’t true!

3. Make Adjustments

What tasks or responsibilities do you need to eliminate? Which of your tasks could be delegated? What new skills or habits do you need to learn to operate more proficiently? How might you modify your schedule to serve you better? What other adjustments would be helpful?

4. Get Help!

More than anything, you need God’s help! That means taking your worries, struggles, and concerns to Him. He’s with you every moment of every day ready and willing to assist you!

Instead you may try to fix them on your own which adds to your stress.

You might also need the expertise of other professionals, like a coach, mentor, therapist, etc. to help you manage your stress or uncover some of the thinking that is contributing to it.

It’s foolish to not benefit from what other professionals bring to the table!

My Stress Secret…

You aren’t the only one who experiences stress! I’ll let you in on a little secret: I have stressful days and seasons too! And just like you, I have to walk myself through the steps I’ve shared with you.

Many of you know my One Word for 2026 is GENTLE and it has been an incredibly practical word that has reminded me to put less pressure to myself. I give you permission to borrow my word and ease up on yourself too! All too often the bulk of the stress we experience is our own doing!

There are no quick fixes, however, with practice, navigating stress well gets easier!

Armed with this information, what will you do to handle the stress in your life in healthy ways going forward?

Originally posted on 5/21/19, this post has been updated and revised just for you!

Photo by Parth Mishra/Unsplash