Yes! Yes! Yes! Give Yourself Permission!

Permission slips were a requirement for school field trips growing up. Thankfully my parents gladly granted permission for me to join my classmates on those adventures.

Square dancing – permission was not granted for that activity! While all my classmates do-si-doed in sixth grade, my parents denied me permission to participate.

I still remember feeling exceedingly awkward and left out while sitting off to the side watching everyone else dance.

What’s fascinating is that all these years later, I am the one keeping myself from engaging in desirable activities!

As an adult, I get to decide how to use my precious time and so do you! Have you been denying yourself permission to engage in activities that would do you good because you believe that you…

• Don’t have enough time or money for “that.”
• Must earn the right to do “that” activity – a reward for completing your never-ending list of to dos, then you have earned the right to “treat yourself.”
• Are being selfish if you make time to do “that.”
• Are undeserving, unworthy, not good enough, to do “that.”
• Must be perfect and if you can’t do “that” perfect, why try?
• Might appear too needy if you did “that.”

This list could go on and on!

A Powerful Lesson

Having Lyme disease taught me a powerful lesson: I need to be kinder to myself! I’m quite good at pushing myself harder, raising the bar higher and higher, and demanding more from myself. It is a ridiculously draining way to live.

As a result of that realization, I made some changes and began engaging in at least one activity each day that makes my heart happy. Permission to do what I love!

While I’ve been free of Lyme disease since 2019, I have continued to practice that life-giving habit. You might think of this practice as engaging in self-care, and it is self-care, but it is much more than that. It is energizing and fuels my creativity in ways that enables me to work smarter rather than wearing myself out.

Permission Denied!

When it comes to denying yourself permission, fear is often a factor. Fear keeps you from caring for yourself, believing that you are worthy of success, or feeling the freedom to simply be YOU!

And when fear is at play in your life, it causes you to behave in ways that prevent you from giving yourself permission to do what would serve you best. Instead, you engage in behaviors like procrastination, striving for perfection, people pleasing, striving, and more, which all wear you out and leave you feeling defeated.

When it comes to those positive and life-giving habits in your life, the only person with the wherewithal to grant you permission is YOU!

What if you gave yourself permission to…

1. Be YOU?

There is absolutely no one else just like you! You alone have your unique personality, combination of preferences, values, thinking preferences, and more that make you, YOU!

While you may be tempted to compare yourself to others or desire to be more like so and so, God designed you in a unique way for a reason.

You are worthy and valuable just the way you are so, give yourself permission to do YOU! No more people pleasing, down playing your desires, or any of the other ways you hide the real you.

2. Engage in Self-Care?

Self-care encompasses all sorts of happy activities, like exercise, rest, time with family and friends, eating in a healthy way, connecting with how you feel, recognizing your limits, setting boundaries, and more.

You may have convinced yourself that you don’t have time for self-care or that it is a luxury. You may feel that self-care is a waste of time or that it is selfish. Maybe you don’t feel worthy of investing in yourself in that way or that life is about pouring into others, not yourself.

Perhaps you see the value of self-care, but are unsure how to fit it in because life and work are all-consuming right now. That’s the very season you need self-care the most!

Practicing self-care is the best way to be replenished and energized. It’s essential! It’s not sustainable to continuously be pouring out without filling back up again.

3. To Be Loved?

Receiving love is a conscious choice and the key to feeling accepted. Give yourself permission to be loved – to see the ways God and the treasured ones around you are demonstrating their love for you.

Don’t let hunting for hints that you are unlovable become a habit.

4. Make Mistakes?

It’s OK to make mistakes, be imperfect and fail. After all, you are human and attempting to be perfect is impossible!

The most successful people take risks and make mistakes. Blunders aren’t catastrophic – just part of the process.

There will be mistakes! Welcome them and view them as an opportunity to learn and grow.

5. Succeed?

You may be tentative about making mistakes or failing, and you may be just as hesitant to give yourself permission to succeed.

Do you feel like success is too much responsibility, too much to maintain, or something that might bring unwanted attention?

Perhaps you feel more like you don’t deserve success. You might not blurt it out quite that way, but that thought it lurking in the background and holding you back.

The truth: God created you, yes, YOU, in a unique and wonderful way. He longs for you to trust Him enough to take the risks necessary to walk fully with Him into whatever success He has for you.

Success isn’t necessarily about making the big bucks or being an influencer with millions of followers. Success is more about operating fully in who He created you to BE and reflecting Him to a world in need. It’s using your gifts, talents, and skills to make a difference in the lives of others, which may lead to financial rewards, as well as many other rewards such as peace, joy, and a fruitful life.

Stop thinking success is off limits for YOU and give yourself permission to succeed.

6. Say No?

Have you been paying attention to your reasons for saying yes? Are you saying yes because the opportunities are right for you or are you saying yes because you feel obligated, want to please, and because you are afraid to disappoint and say no? Sometimes “Yes” is the appropriate answer. And even more often, “no” is the best answer.

What do you need to give yourself permission to say “no” to?

7. Ask For Help?

In the game of life, you don’t get extra points for playing the martyr, doing it all, or wearing yourself out. Besides, you can’t do it all or know how to do everything.

Give yourself permission to get the help you need. That may mean delegating tasks, requesting additional resources, or enlisting the help of a counselor or coach.

There’s no shame is asking for help, but it is a shame when you make life harder than it needs to be by trying to do it all on your own.

8. Get Paid What You Are Worth?

Minimizing your worth is common, but it doesn’t have to be for you! When you believe you are worth it, so will others!

Have you been settling for too little?

9. Practice?

To learn, grow, and approach life in healthier ways, you must learn some better ways of responding. Initially those new ways feel wonky and uncomfortable. That’s why it is so important to give yourself the grace to practice; to keep trying. It’s the effort and the willingness to keep at it that matters and over time that new way gets easier.

So go ahead – give yourself permission to practice!

10. Make Space to Connect with God?

Finally, life is better when you are regularly connecting with God! Give yourself permission to linger in His presence. It may seem like you don’t have time to connect with Him each day, but God has a way of giving you back that time in creative ways. It might mean not doing something else, but making time with Him a priority is truly a gift you give to yourself.

Don’t let fear shortchange you from saying a great big YES to these ten areas and more!

What do you need to grant yourself permission to do?