You Are Caught In Your Comfort Zone?

Is your comfort zone your happy place?

If so, you are not alone. Nearly 3 out of 4 people feel the same way and prefer not to take risks and venture out of their comfort zone, at least according to a 2019 study done by Northwestern Mutual.

In today’s vernacular, we might refer to you as a “creature of comfort,” which conveys your preference for physical comfort, routine, ease, and doing your best to avoid discomfort or risk. It would also imply that you value the known, predictable, and safe!

The phrase, “creatures of comfort,” comes from the older phrase: “creature comforts” which became a part of English in the mid-to-late 17^th century. Back then, “creature” meant a created being or a human being rather than an animal. So, “creature comforts” referred to the physical needs of humans like food, warmth, shelter, ease, and rest.

Over time, the phrase flipped into “creature of comfort,” but essentially it suggests someone who prefers their comfort zone!

Alphabet Dating

Last year my husband and I decided it would be fun to break out of our normal pattern and try Alphabet dating. Now, there was nothing glaringly wrong with our date night activities – we enjoy a yummy meal out, a concert, or hike. But the change of pace has been wildly fun!

If you aren’t familiar with Alphabet dating, it’s choosing date night activities that coordinate with a specific letter of the Alphabet. Here are a few examples of our dates so far…

• A = Ax throwing and dinner at Amada Tapas
• B = Breakfast at Big Bad Breakfast (triple points for 3 Bs!) followed by a hike at Booker T. Washington State Park
• C = Cycling and dinner at Cobalt Restaurant

Recently we tried glass blowing and ate at Giardino for our “G” Alphabet date.

The stipulation: whenever possible, the dates should be something new – something we have not previously done together before!

This “little stipulation” has forced us to step outside of our comfort zone in some delightful ways! For example, we probably would not have eaten at Giardino because it serves Italian food, which is not ideal for my husband who follows a Keto diet or for me who is gluten and dairy free. We did manage to find something on the menu that we both very much enjoyed and the view was beautiful!

While we are still in the midst of our Alphabet dating, it has already positively expanded our dating adventures given us a reason to try some new activities!

But what about venturing out in areas that maybe seem scary and certainly not fun?

If you are one of those “creatures of comfort” kinds of people then familiar is your groove! Venturing out, well that’s another story!

Are You Caught?

When you are caught in your comfort zone, it’s about more than just wanting to remain in the familiar. There’s fear lurking there!

Most people don’t realize they are caught in their comfort zone! They keep on keeping on without noticing that their world is shrinking! It’s hard to take action and step out of your comfort zone when you are oblivious to the fact that you are trapped in it in the first place!

That’s why you might want to examine the clues – eight signs that are pretty good indicators that your comfort zone is holding you hostage:

1. You Are Perpetually In Motion (aka Busy), But Going No Where!

Endless activity is frequently confused with productivity. In fact, all that activity is rarely productive. Imagine it this way: you are running in circles inside your comfort zone – significant effort but still confined to your comfort zone!

In truth, you need a new strategy to help you break free from your comfort zone so that you are able to achieve your goals or get the results you desire which all happen to be outside your comfort zone.

That may require some experimentation. It may lead to a few failures before you land on what works. But all along the way you are stretching, growing, and learning!

Perhaps for you, slowing down and thinking through alternate strategies sounds mighty scary!

Or in your case it might be bravely setting boundaries or initiating some happy new habits.

Whatever it is that is keeping you masterfully occupied, it will be a bit uncomfortable to make changes, but so worthwhile in the long run! And as you practice, it does become less challenging!

2. The Stop Start Illusion

I’ve witnessed someone completely fired up about accomplishing something big only to quit a week later when the pursuit gets hard.

Two weeks later, that same person is gung ho about a whole new something big, and is eagerly chasing that goal.

A month later they realize that goal is going to require them to do “_________” – you fill in the blank – they don’t want to do that thing, so they quit.  Maybe that thing is selling or writing, or public speaking – but whatever it is, it’s outside their comfort zone!

Do you relate?

That pattern keeps you snug in your comfort zone.

To help you escape your comfort zone, identify the fear, the funky thinking, and lean into truth!

3. Around the Mountain Again!

Do you find yourself having to repeat the same lessons over and over again?

I’ve been there – for most of my life I’ve had a knack for taking on too much. That came to a sudden halt when I contracted Lyme disease. I just didn’t have the capacity to do much anything!

Now that I’m well, that temptation frequently arises. Often times, responsibilities seem small at first, but have a way of growing over time. Learning to live within my limits is challenging and still a bit outside of my comfort zone!

Where are you going around the mountain again? Perhaps there is an opportunity to grow and expand your comfort zone there.

4. This is Me!

How you define yourself is powerful! And sometimes it’s actually an excuse for you to remain in your comfort zone! Here are a few examples of what I mean:

I am not a…

• • • Tech person (I confess I have defined defined myself this way in the past!).
    • Disciplined.
    • Writer.
    • Detailed person.
    • Sales person.
    • Kid person.

Or perhaps for you it’s defining yourself as a…

• • • Planner.
    • Mom.
    • Person without a degree.
    • Reserved.
    • Disorganized.

…that is confining you to your comfort zone.

How might growing your perception of yourself expand your comfort zone?

5. Lacking Confidence

What have you been saying you would do IF you had the confidence?

Did you know that the best way to increase your confidence is to begin taking wee steps outside your comfort zone? And rather than relying on yourself, what if you trusted God to make up for your lack? Had a little “God-fidence” – an unwavering assurance and trust in God’s power, presence, and promises rather than relying on one’s own abilities and strength.

Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence.
I Corinthians 10:12 (MSG)

6. Dwelling on Lack

Are you focused on what you lack? If only you had the right skills, experiences, knowledge, money, time, or connections then you would be able to accomplish some amazing things!

What if your lack of resources is actually a chance for you to step out of your comfort zone and to trust God more? A chance to see God do something unexpected and creative!

Ironically, it’s often believers, ministry leaders, or non-profit leaders that are particularly prone to dwelling on their lack rather than what’s possible with God!

What are you dwelling on that’s keeping your life small?

7. Fear of Failure

There’s a direct connection between how you view failure and your comfort zone. If you see failure as a tool for learning and growing, it won’t keep you stuck in your comfort zone.

However, if your view of failure is catastrophic, you won’t attempt what might result in failure keeping you in the safety of your comfort zone (aka stuck).

How do you view failure?

8. Your Fear Monster

Your Fear Monster is determined to keep your life small! If you remain in your comfort zone it’s happy! Many of the challenges and fears you face stem from your Fear Monster.

Your Comfort Zone is constantly expanding and contracting!

Whatever God has for you, it’s outside your comfort zone because that’s where you need Him!

When you face your fears, are willing to take risks, trust God, by bravely making changes, your comfort zone expands while the opposite contracts your comfort zone.

The good news is that even trying something like Alphabet dating has a way of enlarging your comfort zone.

You don’t have to be one of the three out of four who are “creatures of comfort.”

What’s one small step that would enlarge your comfort zone today?

Why not start the Expanding Your Comfort Zone Course – It’s a chance to grow your comfort zone and work with Marvae too!

Unsplash / Raghavendra Saralaya