Perhaps This Is Why You Are Procrastinating

I’ve tasted the fruit of procrastination. You probably have too! It yields a hefty crop of stress, anxiety, frustration, and tasks left undone! Procrastination also chips away at your self-esteem and, unfortunately, tasks put off rarely get easier! To make matters worse, those undone tasks loom in the back of my mind and drain my mental energy.

Getting tasks done, on the other hand, is quite motivating! When I tackle the tasks that I’ve been putting off, they rarely take as much time or effort as I thought they would. In fact, I’ve discovered the many of the tasks I’ve resisted doing bring me joy once I dare to get started. Even better, it’s fantastic when that task is done!

Why do I torture myself by procrastinating? Most often it comes down to these two factors:

1. Fear

Fear has a variety of ways that it causes me to put things off! Do you relate to any of these fears?

• • • Your Fear Monster

Depending on what your Fear Monster’s name is, you might avoid tasks that make you feel like you are not enough, aren’t competent, or that lead to rejection. Tasks that tap into your Fear Monster are sure to get put off!

On the flip side, your Fear Monster may have you striving so that you don’t have the space needed to tackle a task you’ve been putting off. I know my own Fear Monster is “I don’t matter” and it often keeps me spinning my wheels in ways that make getting truly important items done.

For you, the hustling and hurrying in life might be an attempt to prove that you are not lazy, or selfish, or weak – depending on what your Fear Monster’s name is.

• • • The Scarcity Fear

You know it’s the scarcity fear kicking in when you believe you lack the money, time, experience, talent, so on, needed to complete an undertaking. It wants you to believe that you are missing a key ingredient needed to accomplish the task you’ve been putting off.

Whatever you’ve not gotten around to might even be something you are excited about like a dream you’ve had for quite some time. But if your belief is that you lack in some way, you will hesitate to get started and take the risk necessary to turn that dream into a reality.

• • • The “Too ____” Fear

What task or activity do you resist doing because it is too hard, too big, too boring, too tedious, too scary, or too painful, or too_____________?

• • • Fear of the Unknown

If you like comfort or safety, this is the fear that might be preventing you from getting to that task or project. You want to know exactly how to do it and how everything will turn out before you get started, but life doesn’t always work that way. When attempting something new, it frequently means venturing into the unknown and experimenting to see what works best.

Rather than proceeding and delighting in the process you keep researching, map out all the possibilities, but never move forward.

• • • Fear That It Won’t Be Fun

And guess what? You may be right! Not everything in life is a good time, yet some chores still need to get done. And when those not so fun items are consistently neglected, it’s even less fun when you finally get to it! Sometimes harder too!

Why not get that item done, check it off your list, and then reward yourself with a little fun for making it happen?

• • • Fear of Not Being Perfect

Perfectionism and procrastinating often go hand in hand! It’s common to procrastinate at what might expose your imperfections. Since no one is perfect, not even you, it makes more sense to accept that fact and make every effort to do your best in the time that you have instead to get the task is done.

• • • Fear of Doing It Alone

Do you push off activities that are solo activities? That’s natural for those energized by being with people. How might you treat yourself to time with a friend after you’ve completed that task you need to do alone?

• • • Fear of Failure

Failure feels like a devastating end, but it’s like a more informed beginning. What you feel like you might fail at, you delay. After all, no one wants to suffer the perceived humiliation of underperforming.

What tasks do you put off because they may highlight your weaknesses or gaps in your skill set, or could lead to a failure?

Back when I was battling Lyme disease, I participated in an online challenge where the goal was to create a video. Honestly it was a low-pressure challenge – the video didn’t even necessarily have to be made public, just shared within the group. And yet as much as I wanted to grow in that area, I never made the video. You could even say I failed the challenge. Ugh!

Why? Because one of the fun side effects of Lyme disease for me was having Bell’s palsy. It made my face pull awkwardly on one side which made me quite self-conscious. Rather than just make the video and be who I was authentically in the moment, I skipped making the video altogether.

I see now how foolish this was. It wasn’t until months later that I finally worked up the courage to begin filming videos. While there’s still plenty of room for me to grow when it comes to creating videos, I’ve overcome my fear of failure, a video highlighting the gaps in my skill set, or even trying to make them perfect. Now my focus is on simply sharing authentically.

• • • Fear of Success

Procrastinating can be a way of sabotaging your progress towards your goals because deep down, you don’t believe you are worthy of success. You just can’t quite imagine yourself being successful.

Perhaps your fear of success is more about how success might change your life in undesirable ways so you unconsciously choose to remain stuck by not doing what it takes to get you where you want to be.

Fear of success is quite inconspicuous. If you aren’t moving forward, it’s worth exploring how fearing success might be a factor.

This list of fears is not exhaustive. What fears get you procrastinating?

Rather than protecting you from fear, procrastinating magnifies the very fears you were attempting to circumvent!

2. Feelings

Putting off a project or task is a handy way to avoid feeling feelings you would rather not feel. To protect yourself from hard truths, pain, or feelings you are not ready to face, you procrastinate.

When my husband and I decided to move from our family home that we built to downsize, we had a limited time to pack everything up. There were many items that I donated or gave away, but there were some items that needed more consideration and time to process whether I was ready to let go of them.

Unpacking in the new home was quite tedious. It as a difficult process of sorting through both stuff and emotions as a said good bye to a season with my kids that I truly treasured. I confess I procrastinated.

When it comes to feelings, most of us prefer happy feelings – I know I do! That’s why we gravitate towards doing tasks that bring pleasure and immediate gratification.

You may even wait to tackle something until you are “in the mood.” The truth is: you will probably never be in the “mood” to complete certain tasks!

A Tip Off

Putting something off is a tip off that there might be some negative feelings to explore and work through.

The quicker you process your feelings and learn what they are trying to reveal to you, the better. Ignoring your feelings never makes them go away. Instead, they leak out and/or turn into health issues. Sadly, whatever you’ve been putting off still needs to be done!

While I’ve described fear and feelings as two separate factors, they tend to be intertwined!

Procrastinating is a way of delaying what’s hard, uncomfortable, or unpleasant in hopes of making right now easier, comfortable, and more pleasurable. From experience, doing what needs to be done feels great and as you put fewer and fewer of those things off, the more confident you become.

Procrastinating is A Habit

So how do you break the habit of procrastinating?

1. Slow Down!

Rather than rushing, take your time. Hurrying impedes your ability to handle difficult tasks. Slowing down enables you to connect to how you are feeling and identify the fear. It gives you space to process and determine what’s going on and come up with a strategy for tackling what needs to get done.

2. Identify to the Fear or Feeling

The positive side of procrastinating is that it reveals valuable information to you!

Next time you find yourself procrastinating take the time to identify the fear and/or the feeling underneath. Ask yourself:

• • • What is it you are feeling? Give it a label.
    • What is the fear? Give it a name.
    • What do you need? Be specific.

Once you know what’s really going on underneath the procrastinating, then you can make a conscious choice about moving forward.

3. Adjust Your Thinking

I’ve previously shared how thoughts and beliefs dictate your feelings. When your thoughts are healthy, constructive thoughts, they impact your feelings in a positive way that cause you to take actions that lead to the results you are after. That perpetuates those healthy, constructive ways of thinking.

When fear or negative feelings are flowing out of your thinking, it stops you in your tracks and keeps you from moving forward and getting the desired results, which only reinforces the wonky thinking that set the cycle in motion in the first place. To make matters worse, fear and negative feelings have a way of leading to negative action which end up creating negative results, and reinforcing those initial negative thoughts and beliefs.

That’s why it’s essential to identify the thinking that’s driving the fears and feelings. Once you know what those thoughts and beliefs are, then proactively adjust your thinking by…

• • • Replacing the lies you are believing with the truth.
    • Reframing your perspective.
    • Remembering, you don’t have to go it alone – God’s eager to help!
    • Accepting that you aren’t perfect.
    • Adopting a compassionate and kind mindset.

Adjusting your thinking takes practice, so be patient with yourself. It’s worth it!

Whatever you’ve been putting off probably isn’t going away! Don’t let those areas that you’ve been procrastinating to stack up and become overwhelming.

If you’ve been in procrastination mode, I encourage you to consider working with a coach. They are skilled at helping you quickly determine why you are procrastinating and create a strategy to get you moving forward.

Where in your life personally or professionally do you procrastinate? What is procrastinating costing you?