The Not So Happy Hazards of Hurrying
Are you in the habit of hurrying – rushing from one task, appointment, or conversation to another?
Over time, speeding through life feels normal so you may not even realize how often you hurry!
Speeding Tickets
I’ve been driving now for nearly 50 years. In that time, I’ve been pulled over for speeding twice. Believe it or not, both of those unfortunate moments were less than a month apart!
My explanation: being a bit distracted with wedding planning. This coming March my husband and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary, so you can see that I learned my lesson!
Speeding in Life
On the road, when you are going too fast, you are likely to be pulled over by a police officer who noticed your speed. But what if the speed of your life was monitored in the same way? I think my ticket tally would be much higher! How about you?
I like being productive. It frequently entices me to go faster in hopes of getting more done.
One of the lessons I took away from my season with Lyme disease was that life is more fragile and shorter than I’d like to believe. It’s urged me to slow down and savor every sweet minute.
Still, there are times when I find myself slipping back into hurry mode.
The Danger
The real danger in driving too fast is that you are unable to stop quickly, leading to the possibility that you might hurt yourself or others in life threatening ways, consequences that are potentially far more dangerous than getting a ticket!
Similar dangers exist in life when we are of racing too.
The Urge to Hurry
Ever wondered what’s lurking underneath that urge to hurry? I have! After all, when I am hurrying I am also often…
- Tense
- Stressed
- Holding my breath, literally! What I crave is breathing room!
- Impatient
- Distracted
- Overwhelmed
- Exhausted
- Experiencing physical symptoms like headaches, indigestion, trouble sleeping, etc.
Can you relate to any of those? They aren’t desirable sensations!
To make matters worse, hurrying influences the way I think. Everything feels urgent! That makes me speed up even more, causing me to make more mistakes, be less creative, and, in the end, waste time rather than get more done!
It also makes me a whole lot less fun to be around!
Hurrying is the result of believing the lie that I don’t have enough time.
Hurrying is the illusion that somehow I am able to accomplish more if I rush. However, it doesn’t take into consideration the toll hurrying takes on me and the many consequences that follow.
And sadly, if you are used to speeding and feeling stressed, slowing down, taking your time, and breathing actually feels uncomfortable.
Rushing is Fueled by Fear
Being afraid isn’t something I want to readily admit, but when I’m attempting to do life at break neck speed it’s a tip off that my Fear Monster is up to no good again!
Your Fear Monster likes to keep you hurrying in order to…
- Gain significance – a place of importance
(Fear Monster: You Don’t Matter) - Prove that you are amazing!
(Fear Monster: You Are Not Enough) - Help everyone else, demonstrating you are a giver
(Fear Monster: You Are Selfish) - Appear smart – striving to learn, show off your knowledge, etc.
(Fear Monster: You Are Stupid) - Cover up the doubts you have about yourself
(Fear Monster: You Are Fake) - Create the illusion that you are strong and capable
(Fear Monster: You Are Weak) - Seem better than everyone else – extraordinary
(Fear Monster: You Are Ordinary) - Be seen, heard, and loved
(Fear Monster: You Are Invisible) - Get approval – demonstrate your exceptional skills, abilities, and talents
(Fear Monster: You Are Incompetent) - Show you can get stuff done
(Fear Monster: You Are Lazy) - Be accepted and loved
(Fear Monster: You Are Rejected) - Convince others that you are a winner!
(Fear Monster: You Are a Loser)
The Dark Side of Hurrying
Did you know that hurrying is counterproductive? It actually leads to burnout, frustration, and worst of all it ultimately confirms that your Fear Monster is right!
Hurrying also negatively affects your thinking. Just like speed distorts the view on either side of you, speed also distorts how you think about your circumstances, yourself, and your relationships. It compromises your performance. What you love has a way of feeling like obstacles – the people in your life, your work, and even activities you enjoy.
Do you relate to any of these not so happy hazards of hurrying?
1. Blaming – It’s Their Fault
When hurrying, it’s easy to spot everything everyone else is doing wrong, but quite difficult to see the role you play in situations. That’s a perspective is sure to get you in hot water, especially if you put your thoughts into words.
2. Playing the Victim
Hurrying increases the odds that you will see yourself as a victim. You might not put it in those words, but suddenly the world is against you. Resentment follows.
It’s a bummer to realize that the real enemy is actually yourself.
3. Being Ungrateful
Being thankful requires space to slow down and notice the very good aspects of your life and truly appreciate them. When you’re moving at break-neck speed, noticing, experiencing, and expressing gratitude are nearly impossible.
4. Communicating Poorly
Communication is a hard even when you are completely relaxed. Add the hurry element and your communication seriously suffers! Not only do you communicate less, but what you do communicate gets expressed with irritation, annoyance, and frustration. It leads to misunderstandings, hurt, and damaged relationships.
5. Having Unrealistic Expectations
Underneath all the hurrying is the desire to accomplish more and more, which has a way of increasing your expectations. In the midst of the hurrying you fool yourself in to thinking you have the power to do more than is humanly possible!
Slowing down allows you space to assess what needs to be done, to prioritize, and to determine what is possible and what is realistic.
6. Lacking Self-Awareness
This one is hard to admit, but true. You’re like the speed demon on the road oblivious of the many adjustments everyone around them has to make because of their reckless driving. It’s all about them.
Hurrying blinds you, to you!
7. Desiring To Feel Important
I’m not sure when it originated – maybe it’s always been this way. Somehow, being productive and rushing conveys importance in our culture. The more activities you engage in, the more tasks you complete, the more valuable you feel.
The fallacy of this thinking is that while you might feel important, others rarely see you that way. Instead, you come across as preoccupied, distant, and overwhelmed.
On the other hand, slowing down would allow you to be present, operate with clarity and focus, and make wise choices.
It’s Time to Shift into Slow Gear!
At first, slowing down feels strange! It takes effort and requires you to accept your circumstances and limitations in this season.
You aren’t what you do, but who you are – your identity in Him! Soak in how deeply you are loved by God and allow His love to transform you into the person He created you to be. His pace is slow; easy!
As you lean into how loved you are and gradually discover that unhurried pace, you will experience whatever it was that you were racing through life for in the first place! You can BE!
When it comes to the speed with which you are doing life, is it ticket worthy?
Which of the hazards have you experienced?
How have those hazards affected you personally and professionally?
My own thoughts added in brackets:
Image: © Can Stock Photo Inc. / Kaspri
Originally posted in 6/10/2014, this post has been revised and updated just for you!
I can relate to each of the listed thoughts and attitudes of a hurried life from various times and situations in my life. The combination of these thoughts would build and compound at a greater pace as I felt more overwhelmed and hopeless in a given situation. Taking it out on the ones I love most of all can have lasting consequences that last far longer than the provoking thought of my hurry. I then would at times beat myself up pretty dutifully with regret. I can reflect and see where there was a bottom line lack of love and faith in these moments on my part.
I can also gratefully say that I have experienced some lessons that have built patience, understanding with compassion and love. Learning these lessons have in turn decreased the frequency, duration and intensity of these toxic types of thoughts. I also agree that the ability to have increased positive and empowered thoughts influences an increased balanced reciprocity of joyful giving and receiving within my relationships.
There is a book I read about 6 years ago titled ‘Who Switched Off My Brain’ authored by Dr. Caroline Leaf. The book explores what is toxic thought and how to detox your patterns of thinking.
Thank you for a well thought out and detailed response! I am a big fan of Dr. Leaf’s work.
While most of us have erred in the area of hurrying, it is nice to know that it is possible to change our ways and like you mentioned, even restore things physically and emotionally when we slow down and alter our way of thinking! HOPE!
Good timing on this blog. Learning to to say no to even fun things is a hard discipline. Feeling guilty about saying no, what place does that stem from? Realizing, my sanity is important and just enjoying moments of doing nothing are okay.
I love it when the timing is good! 🙂
Saying no to fun things is often necessary to make space for more important activities – even if those more important activities are to create margin, process, or rest!
Feeling guilty can arise out of wanting to please, fear of missing out, not being certain about your purpose or priorities, or feeling the weight of “shoulds”. Chances are good that your Fear Monster is at work.
It is necessary to have those down moments to process and savor life! It truly does contribute to your peace and well being – your sanity! And to the well being of everyone around you! 🙂