Strong Leadership – It Takes Three!

Leaders are often strong, independent types that have a tendency to operate in a “Lone Ranger” sort of way. Yet underneath the “I’ve got it all together” mask often lurk insecurities, loneliness, and stress. It takes a significant amount of energy to keep the illusion going leaving leaders worn out and tired.

Leadership wasn’t meant to be a solo adventure!

More than 40 years ago, my husband and I shared the vows we had written to one another and not heard until that day. Our wedding included a few other non-traditional and creative moments. For those who know us well, this is not surprising! My favorite out-of-the-ordinary moment was braiding three cords together as the pastor read Ecclesiastes. 4:9-12 which says:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

The three cords represented how me, my husband, and God were all intertwined and connected, dependent on each other.

The passage in Ecclesiastes is not specific to marriage – it applies to relationships in general. It’s about not doing life solo, something leaders fall into all too frequently.

Don’t Go It Alone!

Leaders often resist being vulnerable or asking for help, and yet leaders are at their best when they recognize that they need others and are actively seeking God daily for guidance. There will always be challenges, but the good news is that you don’t have to face them alone.

Cultivating a robust, supportive network is vital for leaders! Not just professional support, although having mentors and a community of professionals in your field to mingle with are quite beneficial, but also close friendships in your life. Feeling connected has a positive effect on a leader’s well-being. Wise and faithful friends are huge assets for any leader!

Strengthen Your Role

Another significant way to strengthen your role as a leader and create a “three strands” kind of leadership is to work with a Certified Coach. If coaching is something you’ve not experienced yet, you may operate under the misconception that coaching edges out or is a replacement for relying on God.

Nothing could be further from the truth! You, your coach, the Holy Spirit, are the three strands. Working together, important discoveries are brought to light that enrich your life and leadership in substantial ways. I know! I work with a coach myself!

The Mystery!

God doesn’t always pick the most qualified, experienced or obvious choices for key leadership roles. There are many examples in Scripture – Moses, Jonah, Peter, and others!

Have you ever felt lacking as a leader? I know I have! That feeling has surfaced in my parenting, in my businesses, and in my leadership roles too. There have been many moments where I utterly had no idea what to do! In fact, much of what a leader does is navigate through the unknown.

Those at a loss moments are opportunities to turn to Him – He wants to be an integral part of the process. And not just when you are desperate, but moment by moment!

Working with a leadership coach does not overlook that; instead it places God at the very heart of the coaching process.

What’s Coaching All About?

Despite the number of coaches out there, most people have no idea what the coaching process is all about or how it makes a difference. For those of you who haven’t had the joy of partnering with a coach, here is a quote I quite like that sheds light on the coaching process:

ICF Certified Coaches have undergone a multi-step process to become certified. That vetting process assures you that the coach has the skills needed to serve you well. They know how to facilitate the conversation in a way that is going to help you accomplish what’s most important to you in a session.

My favorite moment in a session with a client is when a new awareness suddenly becomes clear. From that awareness, everything looks different, enabling them to move forward in exciting ways that weren’t available to them before. That’s when powerful changes are set in motion!

For nearly a decade and a half, I’ve worked with leaders all across the globe in a wide variety of industries. Time and time again, what they tell me they appreciate about the coaching process is that it…

1. Provides A Safe and Confidential Place

Most leaders lack a safe sounding board or someone they are certain will keep what they share confidential. It’s amazing how having someone to process and reflect with makes a difference in the sticky situations they face.

My clients that are verbal processors especially value the space to talk through the complexities of their roles. It’s surprising the insights they gain by merely articulating what’s before them.

2. Increases Awareness

As I previously mentioned, change is preceded by a new awareness or discovery which then leads to growth in a myriad of ways. I can’t tell you how many times a client has told me they have never before realized this or that!

3. Clarifies

Yes, the coaching process naturally clarifies your vision, values, priorities, and more! The clearer you are, the more intentional you can be, and my clients love that!

If you lack clarity – coaching is a great way to remedy that!

4. Exposes Fear

OK…most people, including my clients, aren’t excited about discovering that fear has been at work in their lives. I get it, but leaders are human, and humans have fears! And as long as fear remains unexposed, it continues to influence you in the background and negatively impacting the way you lead.

5. Uncovers Mindsets

Right up there with fear are the funky beliefs and mindsets that are hindering you. Once those ways of thinking come to light, then you are able to replace them with truth.

6. Creates Fresh Possibilities

Armed with those new truths, exciting new perspectives emerge that lead to some happy new possibilities. That is a whole lot more exciting than feeling stuck, right?

7. Highlights Potential Obstacles

You might be wondering why seeing the obstacles is a positive, but when you anticipate what might get in your way, that’s when you are able to prepare, plan, and perhaps even bypass the obstacles altogether!

8. Increases the Odds of Reaching Goals

That’s huge! After all, isn’t that what leaders are after?

9. Propels You Forward

Most clients hope that coaching will help them move forward and excel in their work, but are often surprised that the coaching process ends up helping them move forward in powerful ways personally too!

10. Gets Results!

I think back on the surge of clients that turned to coaching during pandemic. Not only were the leaders I worked with able to successfully lead through the unknown, many felt they thrived in unexpected ways. Now that’s a bonus!

Even more thrilling to me, many clients say that coaching far exceeded their expectations and that the benefits of coaching when beyond whatever they initially sought out coaching for!

How About YOU?

Your current situation may have you stumped or maybe you’ve been unable to take your life or work to the next level.

Maybe the results you desire are eluding you. Perhaps your work has taken over your life and you can’t even remember what you like to do in your spare time. Or maybe you recognize you need to sharpen your skills! Those are all great reasons to work with a coach in a “three strand” way!

It’s common to successfully lead for years, only to suddenly hit a wall and feel like you’ve lost your mojo. If that’s you, I’d love to partner with you and help you find your way!

Imagine how refreshing it would be as a leader to be heard and to know that your coach is praying for you, to experience firsthand that “three strand cord” kind of leadership!

One of the beautiful aspects of coaching is that you are not alone! It’s a joy for me to support clients like you and help them get where they want to be both personally and professionally.

Want to be a stronger leader? Why not schedule a Coffee Chat to explore your options and learn how coaching might benefit you!

What questions do you have about coaching?

Originally posted on 8/20/19, this post has been updated and revised just for you!