Six Hazards of Hurrying

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I won’t tell you how many years I have been driving – let’s just say more than 30. In that time, I’ve had the heart racing experience of being pulled over for speeding twice. What’s crazy is that those unfortunate hurrying moments were less than a month apart!

My explanation: wedding planning distraction. That gives you a clue to how long ago it was.

What if the speed of your life was monitored like your driving speeds are? I think my ticket tally would be much higher! How about you?

Having Lyme disease has taught me that life is fragile and short. Slow down and savor every minute.

Still, there are times that I find myself hurrying – I can’t lie! I don’t want to hurry, but there’s so much I want to accomplish, and it’s so easy to get caught up in the current of life!

The real danger in driving too fast is that you are unable to stop quickly, resulting in the possibility that you might hurt yourself or others in life threatening ways; consequences that are potentially far more dangerous than getting a ticket!

Rushing is Fueled by Your Fears

It’s hard to admit that fear is at work, but perpetually doing life at break neck speed is a great big clue that your Fear Monster has a hold on you!

Your Fear Monster likes to keep you hurrying in order to…

  • Gain significance – a place of importance
    (Fear Monster: You Don’t Matter)
  • Prove that you are amazing!
    (Fear Monster: You Are Not Enough)
  • Help everyone else, demonstrating you are a giver
    (Fear Monster: You Are Selfish)
  • Appear smart – striving to learn, show off your knowledge, etc.
    (Fear Monster: You Are Stupid)
  • Cover up the doubts you have about yourself
    (Fear Monster: You Are Fake)
  • Create the illusion that you are strong and capable
    (Fear Monster: You Are Weak)
  • Seem better than everyone else – extraordinary
    (Fear Monster: You Are Ordinary)
  • Be seen, heard, and loved
    (Fear Monster: You Are Invisible)
  • Get approval – demonstrate your skills, abilities, and talents
    (Fear Monster: You Are Incompetent)
  • Show you can get stuff done
    (Fear Monster: You Are Lazy)
  • Be accepted and loved
    (Fear Monster: You Are Rejected)
  • Convince others that you are a winner!
    (Fear Monster: You Are a Loser)

Sadly, all the hurrying is in vain! It leads to burnout, frustration, and ultimately confirms that your Fear Monster is right! It never gets the results you are hurrying for.

Hurrying also has negative effects on your thinking. Just like speed distorts the view on either side of you, speed also distorts how you think about your circumstances and relationships. It compromises your performance. Even what you love, including the people in your life, your work, even your hobbies feel like obstacles in your way when you are racing through life.

Do you relate to any of these hazardous thoughts?

1. It’s Their Fault – Blame

When you are zipping along at a fast pace, it’s easy to ignore the role you play in situations and spot everything everyone else is doing wrong. Just thinking these thoughts is unhelpful, but too often these thoughts become words that destroy those around you. More damage done!

2. No One Understands All I Have Going On – Victim

Speed increases the odds that you will view yourself as a victim. Suddenly the world is against you. Resentment follows. It’s a real bummer to realize that the real enemy is actually you!

3. Ungrateful

Being thankful requires time to slow down and notice the very good aspects of your life and appreciate them. When you’re moving at break-neck speed experiencing and expressing gratitude are nearly impossible.

4. Unrealistic Expectations

That faster you go, the more your communication suffers – after all, that takes too much time, right?

Wrong! In the end, your unspoken expectations backfire and leave scars on the ones you love.

Slowing down allows you to identify what you want from others so that you can clearly communicate that. In the end it ultimately saves you time and prevents much aggravation.

5. The World Revolves Around ME!

This one is hard to admit, but true. You might not even realize that’s what you are thinking. Sadly, hurrying blinds you to your self-deception. You’re like a speed demon on the road who never notices the many adjustments everyone around him or her has to make because of their reckless driving. It’s all about them.

6. I Am Important

I’m not sure when it originated. Maybe it’s always been this way. Somehow, being productive and needing to hurry conveys importance in our culture. The more activities that consume your time, the more valuable I feel.

The fallacy of this thinking is that while you may feel important, others rarely see you this way. You come across as preoccupied, distant, and overwhelmed. Slowing down would communicate value and wise choices and others will be more likely to view you as important.

It’s Time to Put on the Brakes!

Slow yourself down and stick to the speed limit; in order to slow down you must accept your circumstances and limits.

You must grasp how deeply you are loved by Him and allow His love to transform you, transform your heart and mind, into the person He created you to be. And as you begin to trust God with your life everything changes!

Then, your Fear Monster is no longer then one calling the shots, and you will experience whatever you were racing through life for in the first place!

You can stop hurrying! Rest. Love well. You can BE!

And you can accomplish what truly matters!

 

How well are you sticking to the speed limit in your life?

What hazardous thoughts creep into your mind when you hurry?

How do those hazardous thoughts affect your life personally and professionally?

 

Romans 12:1-2 (MSG) My own thoughts added in brackets:

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: [Slow down and] take your everyday, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life – and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

 

Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG) My own thoughts added in the brackets:

Are you tired [from speeding through life]? Worn out [from hurrying to do too much]? Burned out on religion? [Slow down and] Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.

Image: © Can Stock Photo Inc. / Kaspri

Originally posted in 6/2014. Revised and updated just for you!

Marvae Eikanas

Marvae Eikanas is an author, entrepreneur, ICF certified coach, Career Direct Consultant, DISC consultant, and HBDI practitioner. She helps her coaching clients sharpen their skills, face their fears, eliminate funky mindsets, hone their habits, and cultivate clarity so they can THRIVE personally and professionally. Schedule a consultation with Marvae here.

4 Comments

  1. Teresa on June 9, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    I can relate to each of the listed thoughts and attitudes of a hurried life from various times and situations in my life. The combination of these thoughts would build and compound at a greater pace as I felt more overwhelmed and hopeless in a given situation. Taking it out on the ones I love most of all can have lasting consequences that last far longer than the provoking thought of my hurry. I then would at times beat myself up pretty dutifully with regret. I can reflect and see where there was a bottom line lack of love and faith in these moments on my part.

    I can also gratefully say that I have experienced some lessons that have built patience, understanding with compassion and love. Learning these lessons have in turn decreased the frequency, duration and intensity of these toxic types of thoughts. I also agree that the ability to have increased positive and empowered thoughts influences an increased balanced reciprocity of joyful giving and receiving within my relationships.

    There is a book I read about 6 years ago titled ‘Who Switched Off My Brain’ authored by Dr. Caroline Leaf. The book explores what is toxic thought and how to detox your patterns of thinking.

    • Marvae on June 9, 2014 at 9:37 pm

      Thank you for a well thought out and detailed response! I am a big fan of Dr. Leaf’s work.

      While most of us have erred in the area of hurrying, it is nice to know that it is possible to change our ways and like you mentioned, even restore things physically and emotionally when we slow down and alter our way of thinking! HOPE!

  2. Michele on June 5, 2019 at 10:10 am

    Good timing on this blog. Learning to to say no to even fun things is a hard discipline. Feeling guilty about saying no, what place does that stem from? Realizing, my sanity is important and just enjoying moments of doing nothing are okay.

  3. Marvae Eikanas on June 5, 2019 at 10:41 am

    I love it when the timing is good! 🙂

    Saying no to fun things is often necessary to make space for more important activities – even if those more important activities are to create margin, process, or rest!

    Feeling guilty can arise out of wanting to please, fear of missing out, not being certain about your purpose or priorities, or feeling the weight of “shoulds”. Chances are good that your Fear Monster is at work.

    It is necessary to have those down moments to process and savor life! It truly does contribute to your peace and well being – your sanity! And to the well being of everyone around you! 🙂

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