3 Signs That Your Fear Monster is Dwindling


There is no denying that fear keeps my life small, It keeps me from successfully getting where I want to be and who God created me to be!

I know how my Fear Monster holds me back. It messes with my relationships, makes challenges seem insurmountable, and blocks me from boldly walking in all that God’s created me to be. It has a way of keeping me stuck and from thriving personally and professionally. I don’t want that, and I bet you don’t either.

I have a friend who signs her email “Live Loved,” and I adore that phrase. When my life is activated by how deeply loved I am by God and the unique way He’s created me to reflect Him, it changes everything. I don’t need to strive to prove to the world I am worthy, enough, significant, or that I matter. I am free to pursue all that He has for me! That’s true freedom!

Leaning into and focusing on who God created me to be is the remedy – the only way to fight my Fear Monster’s control. When I operate from that place personally & professionally, and live loved, the more I enjoy peace in my life. I’m braver and experience less conflict, negativity, and it’s more rewarding too.

If the Fear Monster concept is new to you, this post is a great place to start. You might even be surprised at the many ways your Fear Monster is calling the shots in your life and you didn’t even know it. And I promise, your Fear Monster is keeping you from thriving personally & professionally. He has a knack for limiting you; keeping you stuck.

Love is Transforming

One of the perks of being Grammy is being unconditionally loved. That’s a pretty sweet feeling! My grands don’t care if I’m made up and beautiful or how successful I am. They just love me for me. I can be silly and uninhibited – really me in their presence. And nothing tickles me more than when my granddaughter signs off a video call with me with “love you Grammy!”

That’s the kind of love that God has for me and for you. It’s totally unconditional. It’s transforming! It allows me to boldly and energetically pursue my life and work.

Sometimes I still slip back into allowing my Fear Monster to take the driver’s seat. I think that’s what we humans do. Thankfully, those moment pop up far less than they used to and I know just what to do when it happens!

When my Fear Monster’s power shrinks, there are some dramatic changes that take place. Here are three examples:

1. I Am More Authentic

There’s no need to try and impress others or be a chameleon to get approval. I am free to be the quirky woman God created me to be. The funny thing is that when I operate in a way that is true to who I really am, it’s more appealing to others. People are drawn to people who are relatable, vulnerable, and honest.

Social Media is often bait for comparing. I stop appreciating the unique and wonderful person God created me to BE. Being authentic is all about freedom to be who I am – who God created me to BE. It’s about living loved!

Some of the ways we hide who we really are subtle, yet keep fear spinning in our lives. That’s no beuno! Curious if you have some of that going on in your life? Checkout this post to find out.

2. I Respond to Criticism Better

Criticism used to really rock my world! If you are a perfectionist, I bet it does yours too! After all, it’s confirmation that you are imperfect and that’s shattering!

Sometimes I would interpret the comments of others as criticism when in reality it was my Fear Monster twisting their words in my mind in a negative way. I was allowing my own negative beliefs, aka my Fear Monster, to color how I was hearing their words. Inevitably it would lead me to a very discouraging and destructive place. It created conflict. Who needs that?

These days, I am actually inviting the people around me to give me feedback because I want to learn and grow so I can better accomplish my purpose and goals. I shared a bit on that recently in this video. Occasionally it still feels like criticism and stings a little bit, but when I cling to how loved I am by God it definitely stings less.

3. I Take More Risks

I’m naturally a person who likes to be in control and taking risks is the opposite of that. There’s a high chance, or at least a perceived high chance, of failing when you take risks. It’s like stepping off a cliff into the unknown; it’s scary! Taking risks is undesirable on two levels for me – it threatens being in control and my desire to be perfect. What I’ve discovered is that not taking risks is actually the riskiest thing I can do!

As I’ve been taking more risks personally and professionally it’s gotten easier! And I’ve learned some incredibly valuable lessons that are already serving me well. Being more of a risk taker has also required me to depend more on God, which in my eyes, is the best place to be!

If you want to begin taking more risks in your life and work, I’ve outlined here 20 fabulous reasons to do just that!

Your Fear Monster doesn’t have to rule your life! Shrinking his power is a process. It requires you to pay attention to the devious ways he’s at work and intentionally connecting to how extravagantly you are loved by God and the unique person He create YOU to BE. Ultimately, it’s well worth the effort. It makes a radical difference allowing you to THRIVE personally and professionally!

As your Fear Monster’s power has begun to shrink, what difference has it made in your life personally and professionally?

Marvae Eikanas

Marvae Eikanas is an author, entrepreneur, ICF certified coach, Career Direct Consultant, DISC consultant, and HBDI practitioner. She helps her coaching clients sharpen their skills, face their fears, eliminate funky mindsets, hone their habits, and cultivate clarity so they can THRIVE personally and professionally. Schedule a consultation with Marvae here.


  1. April on January 15, 2020 at 7:32 am

    I relate to each of the three areas you cited that fear cripples, and the shrinking of fear liberates. A woman in my Bible study describes herself as having “no filters.” While there’s an obvious downside to that, the positive part inspires me to be, as you put it, the “quirky woman God created me to be.” This woman spontaneously danced to the worship music before the Lord in our church service filled with non-demonstrative Baptists! Not caring what others think as long as God approves, taking risks because I don’t have to be stellar at everything I do, etc… is very freeing already, and I have a long way to go yet.

  2. Marvae Eikanas on January 15, 2020 at 9:31 am

    It is a growing process, emphasis on process! Celebrating even the small ways that fear is shrinking in your life is beneficial! The more we can keep our focus on who God created us to BE the more free we are! Don’t be discouraged April!

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